THE FIRST OF A NEVER ENDING SERIES –
As the world turns and as Jaxson grows, I thought I would share an open, truthful, and pawhaps comical peek into this new chapter of my life.
Before I know it – Jax will be much older and I will reflect back on his formative months with only memories of the “good times.” But right now I’m so tired I can barely see straight.
Therefore welcome to the first of just a few entries in the “Diary of a Middle Aged Puppy Mom.”
DISCLAIMER: I have no regrets about bringing home a hyper-energetic 9 week old puppy. It’s just harder than I remember #keepingitreal
What was I thinking when I decided on a honest to goodness fresh out the womb puppy?
How could I have only remembered the “good” and completely forgotten about the “bad and the ugly?”
Don’t take this the wrong way, I am head over paws in love with Jax – but “wow!” We’re closing in on our first month together and I feel twice my age!
There’s so much to do and I can’t find my rhythm. The first two weeks I had to wear my loungewear for our morning walks because for the life of me I couldn’t seem to figure out when (and/or how) to get into street clothes and still be able to retrieve him from his crate before he had an accident…
Six years ago Harley was a pup and even though I was new to the 50’s club, I still had plenty of reserved energy. My body acted as if it was a few years behind my age.
Jax arrived after menopause and I’m telling you – it makes a difference.
According to the “Urban Dictionary” I’m a middle aged woman:
A female who has passed through her forties, currently residing somewhere in her fifties, is a middle-aged woman.
- Could that explain my fatigue?
- Is this why I fall asleep folding laundry? #truestories
They say “what doesn’t kill you – makes you stronger” Well potty training ALONE might just take me right on out of here.
For the past twenty days my nights have been interrupted every three hours or so. I can’t seem to remember it like this with Harley. #selectivememory?
IT GOES LIKE THIS:
Before dawn something in my dark bedroom stirs, then whines. Am I dreaming? As I drift back to sleep – paralyzed from exhaustion, I hear the sound again – only louder.
OH CRAP! IT’S THE PUPPY…
…he’s got to go out again.
With the speed of a gazelle, and the artistry of a firefighter on night duty – I spring out of bed. Here’s my playbook –
- With one foot on the ground, I’m hopping in place struggling with my sock
- It’s raining outside, so I grab my sweatpants that are strategically folded at the foot of my bed
- Sweatshirt arm is inside out – so I whisper soothing sounds to an already impatient puppy as I dance around trying to free my arm and right the wrong of the sleeve.
- Hat? hat? where’s my freaking hat?
- Dressed, I fumble with the crate door in the blackness of the room. When the door opens I unleash the “kraken” and scoop him up in my arms.
- The pain from my arm shoots to my shoulder then radiates to my neck as it reminds me to teach this 20 lb puppy to use the stairs once it’s daylight.
- Oops, back it up, back it up, can’t forget #again – gotta shut off the alarm
- I make it to the front lawn just in time – BAZINGA we’ve peed outside again!
- Regardless of the time, I’ve got to do the “I’m so happy you went potty clap your hands” dance. #gottagivehimpraise #mustbeconsistent
- Back upstairs to put the
beastpuppy back in his crate
- Doodle Dad never moves so he misses my free striptease show #hisloss
- I lay dawn, and in no time flat, I’m back in la-la-land
THEN IT’S MORNING..
Once we’re back inside after our breakfast walk – I guzzle down a huge mug of some seriously strong coffee. Only to find out later that’s probably not the smartest idea because now there’s two of us running around like idiots. One of us is pumped up on puppy power and the other on caffeine.
Mid mornings right now are the most challenging. I try like crazy to tired him out. He’d rather fall asleep on the shrubs…
For right now, I find solace by reminding myself several times a day –
- Nothing lasts forever!
- Jax WILL get older
- I WILL get more sleep
- Doodle Dad WILL once again get a hot home cooked meal #oneday
But for right now Diary – you, Starbucks and my Tempur-Pedic mattress are my BFF‘s
ONE LAST THING…
I did give a huge sigh of relief after reading 40 Signs You Are Middle Aged by the Huffington Post, because I honestly could only relate to three on their list of 40:
#4: Needing an afternoon nap
#13: Choosing clothes and shoes for comfort rather than style
#38 Falling asleep after one glass of wine #outlikealight
All of which I pray will go away once Jax gets older. How about you? How many on that list can you relate to!
FOLLOW DIARY OF A MIDDLE AGED PUPPY MOM AS IT CONTINUES