Pivoting with a senior pup brings difficult decisions. I never imagined the pain associated with the words how, when, and where.
After my last story about cognition issues in senior pups, I took Harley to Doodle Doc for a quality of life appointment. This was a discussion meeting only! I wanted to share my concerns as well as have them lay-eyes-on-him and help answer ALL of my insane and “I’m afraid of what I’m seeing” concerns to better equip me with our future…
It was a lengthy assessment!…
They examined him for what seemed like hours…
and as we all sat on the floor against the wall talking, I watched them – watch him.
I received detailed answers (in layman’s terms), and together we agreed to combine Western and Eastern medicines to try and reduce the discomfort/inflammation from the joints and arthritis as well as hopefully lift some of the fogginess from his brain.
We agreed to a two week trial with another follow-up appointment. Doodle Dad and I both agreed to stop the medication after seven days. The side effects were too severe and there were no significant signs of improvement.
SIX LONG DAYS –
away from Harley for me was unavoidable. Doodle Dad remained home with the Boys, because I just couldn’t fathom anyone other than one of us with him. We spoke about Harley several times each day during those six days. His daily struggles were mounting. It became increasingly more difficult to get Harley up and down the stairs, so Lee converted our living room into a canine hospice center with all of Harley’s necessities.
When I returned home on the 28th of June, He didn’t have the strength, energy, nor the where-with-all to even attempt a greeting. It was then I think I knew. But yet I didn’t know what to do. The following day I took the boys to the groomer. Tearfully I told Andi about my concerns, and she said she would massage his legs really well.
THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH –
must have been where Andi chose to bathe Harley. When I returned, he pranced into the lobby like a new Doodle! Andi said he did fine and seemed to have loved every minute of it…
Even when we got home, Harley remained bright eyed and bushy tailed the rest of the day…
I asked Lee to move his bed back upstairs with us.
A DIFFERENT MORNING –
greeted me Saturday. I quickly realized the youthful Dood that I was able to spend time with Thursday and Friday was a special gift from him to me! Saturday, the senior pup was back and EVERYTHING had changed.
Over the next three days, the progression and severity of his decline was rapid. Monday afternoon I knew, and I made the call. Harley had rallied one more time for his favorite human – me. Now it was time for me to support him…
Tuesday, July 3rd at 3:30pm I held him in my arms as he peacefully drifted towards that rainbow bridge where (in my sanctified mind) I imagined Leo standing there, soccer ball in mouth, tail wagging, letting Harley know all is well…
LOST AND ALONE –
is how I feel. I have no doubt over time my 14.5 years of memories will coat the rawness and fill the emptiness that accompanies pet loss. But I also know it will take time, and I plan to embrace every emotion. Living with Jaxson, a Canine Therapist has its benefits and being loved by Lee, family, friends/neighbors and YOU will help tremendously.
I plan to write again soon, there is so much I want to tell you.
Thank you for all the love that you’ve given our Harley -Darley ❤️
July 4, 2023
I’m standing in the grocery store, hiding in an aisle as I silently weep.
We all know the pain of this decision and I’m proud of you for choosing yo place his care and peace above your broken heart. I know all too well how hard that day was as well as the days that followed.
God bless you, my dear dear dear friend.
July 4, 2023
Cathy my heart breaks for you! I have so very many fond memories of Harley as he will always be my favorite therapy dog. No words will take away the pain you are feeling. My prayers are with you all.
July 5, 2023
Our sweet Harley. Praying for you as you navigate such a tremendous loss. Thank you for giving us a window to the wonderful life he lived as a comforter to so many people. Rest well Harley!
July 24, 2023
Thank you so much babygirl – I love you for your beautiful words.
July 4, 2023
Oh nooooo. I’m so sorry. Such a hard decision but the right one. Hugs coming your way. I am in the same position with my Lilly. She is 15 and has great days and so- so days. Thank you for sharing so much information and reflections these past years. So much love coming your way.
Deirdre
August 10, 2023
Hello my dear friend – thanks for all the love – I am happy to hear that Lilly is still with you. 15 years, what a blessing of so much tail wagging happiness. May you continue to enjoy so many beautiful memories each and everyday. Take care…
July 4, 2023
Dear Cathy, as I read through your post, my heart sank and sank with every word and when I got to the end, I started crying so hard. Memories of your Leo, of my Pedro and all the beautiful pups that have gone before them. I try to comfort myself and I wish I could comfort you with the knowledge that somewhere, over that rainbow, they are all together, whole, happy, tails wagging, eyes clear, hearts as loving as ever. I hug you dear Cathy and Doodle Dad and Jaxson and once more, I thank you for sharing your precious Doodles and their Doodletastic lives with many of us around the world. Forever loving paws.
July 4, 2023
You know I am with you all the way. Love Vicki
July 4, 2023
My heart is broken for you! You made the hardest, yet best decision for Harley. I pray your wonderful memories help ease your grief!
Hugs,
Cheryl
July 4, 2023
Harley waited patiently until his “Mom” returned home so that he could say goodbye. Even though it was extremely painful for you, I am very happy that you were with Harley to help him on his journey. Love to you, Lee and Jackson.
Rob Lesch and Sydney
July 5, 2023
Oh my goodness, we are all so very sorry for your loss. This was a big shock to us as we had no idea he was failing so. It is the hardest decision ever to make, but one that you do know when the time has come. We hope Jaxson is doing alright now being without his partner in crime that he has known pretty much his entire life. The two of you can grieve together. Our thoughts are with you. Harley had the best life and he was a very fortunate dog to have had all the opportunities and life he had. Cherish the wonderful memories of a great guy dog!
July 5, 2023
I’m so very sorry for your loss. It was a shock as I know Harley was getting older and having issues but I had no idea he was failing so much. He had the best doodle life a guy could ask for with you – all the love, fun, and opportunities. Letting go is the hardest decision ever to make but as a good dog mom, we know when that time has come. Take special care of Jaxson who lost his brother that he has had by his side almost his entire life. The two of you can grieve together. My thoughts are with you. As you sadly know, there is no quick fix for the emptiness and sadness you feel, only time will help. Harley will always be with you in your heart.
July 5, 2023
Oh, Cathy, I am so very sorry for your loss. I started crying right along with you as I realized what you were telling us all. Joy said above all that I’ve been thinking as I write this note. We dog moms just know. And when they can, our canine kids rally to give us more time, however short, with them. They may have gone ahead but they are always in our hearts. For me, knowing that Ducky – especially – would always be with me in spirit is what helped me get through those awful first days without her. My hope for you is that knowing Harley’s Doodle spirit will always be with you helps you as well. You know we all love you all and that we feel your loss too. Sending you tons of comforting hugs. Just wish I could give them to you in person.
July 24, 2023
Your words of comfort mean so much to me. I appreciate our online friendship throughout the years and I appreciate you reaching out. Sending you and your crew hugs.
July 5, 2023
Oh, Cathy. I’m so sorry. What a blow. I hope that getting a few extra hours with Harley doing better helps you just a little bit with the heavy burden of grief.
You gave your boy the absolutely best life any dog could ever wish for.
Sending love to you and your whole family as you deal with this incredible loss.
July 24, 2023
Hello Pamela – thank you for such a beautiful card, I owe you a call, and I promise I will – soon.
July 5, 2023
Oh no Cathy, I’m so heartbroken for you. Having just gone through a very similar experience nearly 3 weeks ago. Tears are streaming down by checks what those last precious moments were like. Tender thoughts are being sent to you and yours. I’m sure Norman (and even Knucklehead Sam) greeted Harley at the Bridge and are showing him around, with all their tails a-wiggling ,without pain, full of joy and exuberance. Be kind to yourself and if there’s anything I can do, please let me know. Precious thoughts of your sweet boy with kudos for the doodle-tastic life you gave him. Peace and love to you.
July 24, 2023
Thanks so much my friend, I know you know what this feels like, I too send hugs and love to you….
July 5, 2023
Thank you for sharing your journey. It’s heartbreaking for me to imagine
July 24, 2023
Hi Debbie – This loss is like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. I know in time the pain will become more bearable, however, the journey to get there is brutal. Thanks so much for your kind words….
July 5, 2023
I’m so sorry Cathy. I can understand so well your deep grief. What a special gift he gave you throughout his life and especially on those last days. Thinking of you!
July 24, 2023
Thanks Judy – I always tell people, Harley is the reason I do what I do – he was instrumental in my therapy world.
July 5, 2023
I’m so sorry for the loss of Harley.
Sending prayers and hugs.
July 24, 2023
Thank you so much Patty – I appreciate your kind words. Sorry for the delay in my response, XOXO
July 5, 2023
Hey Buddy,
We had this conversation over lunch last week, but reading it made everything real. Sending lots of love and hugs your way. Harley had a beautiful life…thanks to you❣️
July 10, 2023
I am so grateful for that conversation too. It gave me a chance to verbalize what I had been dreading for a while. I;m extremely lonely and I cry off and on, but I am sure at some point this too will change. Love you girl…
July 5, 2023
I’m so sorry for your loss, Cathy. I’ve seen that last rally from some of our seniors too, as if they just want to give us one last happy and hopeful day. RIP sweet Harley. My love and thoughts are with you and your family. ♥
July 10, 2023
Thank you Jan K. His last rally was a good one and we were so appreciative of it.
July 5, 2023
Oh Cathy, I’m so very sorry for your loss of sweet Harley. My tears were flowing as I wrote my first note this morning. (Don’t know what happened to it – it just disappeared.) I didn’t realize from your last post about his cognition issues just how rapidly he was declining. You, Jaxson, and your entire family are in my thoughts and prayers as you move through this very difficult time. If there’s anything I can do, please let me know. I’m sure my 6 angels met Harley at the bridge to welcome him and show him around.
July 10, 2023
I have this vision that the rainbow bridge has these welcoming committee groups that race over to the bridge in packs barking and wagging tails as someone new comes along. It’s my way of coping I guess. I know he’s better, but I still miss him so….
July 5, 2023
Cathy, I’m so sorry to hear that Harley has passed over the Rainbow Bridge. You are the best Doodle mom and you gave him a great life! Hugs to all of you!
July 10, 2023
Hello Karen – thank you – seems like forever when our dogs would wrestle on the neighbors lawn. Harley was truly special and there is a huge void in my world right now. Jaxson is doing a great job taking care of us, but I really miss my main man…
July 5, 2023
Awww, hun I am so sorry. Sending you so much love and light, and hugs. Xo
July 10, 2023
I love you too Lindsay XOXO
July 5, 2023
I’m so very sorry to hear of your loss.
July 10, 2023
Thank you so much Claudette
July 6, 2023
I have no words. Just tears.
July 10, 2023
I know Pamela – this one hurts deep. I will call when I know I can talk without tears. Love you much…
July 8, 2023
I’m so sorry for the loss of Harley. My heart goes out to you and your family. Sending love and HUGS ♥
July 10, 2023
Thank you so much Patty – much appreciated 🙂
July 8, 2023
Cathy,
My eyes began sweating as I read about Harley’s decline. I am glad he had such a wonderful family in his life and Leo waiting to greet him with that soccer ball. I probably won’t open another email from you unless I see something about Jaxson. I will let Doodle Dad inform me about Harley. I am SAD.
July 10, 2023
Dearest Greg – I actually asked Doodle Dad to reach out to you via text because I knew this would be a complete shock to you and I was worried. I shall yell at him later. We are all mending and learning how to adjust. It’s a process and no matter how hard we try, we know it cannot be rushed. Continue to read about Jaxson and all that he does for so many humans, and I promise we will smile again one day soon…