I first started writing Jaxson’s Cancer Journey mid March when we learned about his diagnosis. The intent was to be a series of post updates to keep everyone informed on how we (and I do mean we) were strategically battling this monster called “lymphoma.“…

THE MONSTER – 

It was the beginning of March, early in the evening. Jaxson was snoring, but his snores were heard as he inhaled vs. exhaled. The following day while at work, I noticed as soon as he he laid down, the snoring noise started – instantly. 

How can he snore like this and be looking right at me – completely awake?”

His work family heard him and offered various (comforting) layman explanations – 

• allergies
• REM sleep
• nasal mucus
• sleep apnea (yep – gotta love those who care so  much!)

Needless to say, the following three days and nights I wasn’t convinced this was normal behavior for him, so I called his holistic vet.

IN LESS THAN  A WEEK – 

we went from racing through the open gardens on our way to work to sitting in a Veterinarian Oncology Clinic listening to words like – 

• small mass in the lymph node located in front of his heart
• CT Scan
• Tissue sample
• Prednisone

I couldn’t breathe. 

Listening intently I kept my hand behind his ear.  This is our thing when we are uncomfortable, I place my hand behind his ear. In this area his hair is the softest, I get lost as my fingers gently rake through it and it’s also my way of letting him know as long as I’ve got him, I’m okay. It seems to work in the same manner with him too…

VETERINARIAN VILLAGE – 

Our country utilizes a Department of Defense to protect our freedom and safety. They come together at the Pentagon in what’s called the “war room” to strategize and execute the best plan of attack for each situation. 

Jaxson has a Veterinarian Village whose approach mirrors our military. 

Three days after diagnosis, the holistic vets held a meeting to collectively create a regiment of immune-building supplements to prepare Jaxson for whatever treatment would be part of his immediate future. Theyhadjoined forces with his conventional vets and I loved them all for coming together to help my Dood. 

I agreed to send tissue samples to the Univ. of Colo. to determine the specifics of the monster who had invaded Jaxson’s body.  

That was the longest week of my life….

THE ENEMY WASN’T ALONE –

Jaxson started his chemo on April 6th, a very low dose in pill form once a day. For 15 days, the only noticable change was increased thirst, and urination. This was due to the steroid. But that all changed in 72 hours.

On Wednesday, I made an appointment and we were going in on Friday. He was scheduled for blood work and x-rays on May 5th which was exactly 30 days from the start of the chemo. Fatigue was increasing, he was sleeping all-the-time, and he wasn’t himself, so we decided to go in earlier.

Thursday morning I called the oncologist and told her –

We can’t wait for Friday, somethings wrong.

She told me to bring him in.

APRIL 25TH 4:33PM –

I clenched his fur behind his ear and screamed into his back as he took his last breath wrapped in my arms.

Blood work revealed Jaxson was now battling luekemia along with the lymphoma. What started out with an inward snore had gone completely down the darkest road imaginable.

My baby Dood, my incredible theray pup extraordinaire was very sick, and there was nothing we could do to fix him. He was battling two different types of cancer, a high fever brought on by an infection because his white blood cells were dangerously low.

I had to let him go…

THANK YOU –

for being on this journey with Groovy Goldendoodles.

Jaxson will forever be the last Dood/dog I will ever have. I am completely broken inside, and for the first time in more than 16 years, I am lost.

This will be my last blog post.

Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring meup. You will increase my honor and comfort me once more.

Psalm 71: 20-21