GUILTY OF DOG COMPARISON BEHAVIOR

By Friday, August 7, 2015 19 No tags Permalink

I’ve taken myself to court. Call me the prosecutor, judge AND jury.

Lately my behavior as a pet parent has been unacceptable. #inmyopinion My subconcious has taken over and is out of control. I am guilty of dog comparison behavior:

  • Am I weird?
  • Am I wrong?
  • Am I a bad Doodle Mom?

MORE IMPORTANTLY –

  • Will it ever stop?

Jaxson is now 7 months old #wheredidthetimego?

And I can’t stop seeing a little piece of Leo (here and there) in many of the things he does…

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Friends, family and Doodle fans are not helping with my rehabilitation either.

As Jax gets older, people fumble through that initial greeting:

They either:

  • Whisper
  • Frown
  • Cuff their hands over their mouths,

as they struggle with the words:

I’m sorry, but I gotta tell you – he looks so much like Leo.

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I smile, nod my head and reassure them there’s no need to apologize. While deep down in my doodle, I want to shout back at them –

I KNOW!

But I feel so freakin bad having those same thoughts…

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Even though Jaxson and Leo come from the same breeder, their family tree does not share any limbs. I didn’t want that. #Imadesure

I know what your thinking “it’s the same breed – there’s bound to be similarities.”  And while that is conceivable, it doesn’t stop me from observing and comparing then feeling awful for doing it.

The other day Jax went on a walk carrying a ball in his mouth. A lady pulling out of her driveway, stopped and got out of her car to make the comparison. Then she apologized…

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I want Jaxson to be his own “doodle” not live in the hearts and minds as an L.J. #littleLeo

Perhaps I’m feeling this way because Jax is now the same age Leo was when he came into our lives. This would certainly explain my many deja vu moments…

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And yes, in case you’re wondering, I do mistakenly yell out “Harley & Leo” sometimes when I know good and Doodle well I wanted to say “Harley & Jax.” But can’t you see my dilemma?…

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SO HELP A SISTAH OUT –

Tell me:

  • Do you think it will stop?
  • Do you think I will be able to look at him as he plays, cuddles and or sleeps and see him for who he is? #behisowndoodle

JUST JAXSON –

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I’m hoping this is only a phase since he’s getting older, and at some point and time I can submit my appeal and get my sentence over turned.

But for right now, I’m afraid I am guilty as charged. #sendcommissarymoneyplease

Have a wonderful weekend and be kind to someone too!

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19 Comments
  • Emma
    August 7, 2015

    I don’t think you need to worry about it. It is a compliment for Jax for one. Mom often says Trine lives on in Katie as Katie learned a lot from Trine in the 14 months they spent together before Trine passed. Our kitty Boo who died suddenly lives on in my cat bro Bert. She was a cat who stole food and the hearts of dogs and humans just as Bert does. We don’t know for sure if those who passed do live in some living beings or not, but is sure does seem to be the case, so you are not alone in those thoughts.

    • Cathy Bennett
      August 7, 2015

      Thanks Emma. Tell your mom I said I appreciate her words of encouragement. Perhaps as Jax grows up I will think less and less of the similarities and laugh at the goofiness! Have a great weekend.

  • DashLilly
    August 7, 2015

    I have been thinking since Jax got a haircut!!! Yep, there is a resemblance. I think it is Leo whispering in your ear “It’s all good, Mom, I’m still here and I am loving my little brother.” It will stop and Jax will establish his one and only individual place. And it’s all wonderful.

    • Cathy Bennett
      August 7, 2015

      You are not alone Deirdre. In fact you are in great company! I think as Jax grows older it will dissipate – I sure hope so. Thanks for your words of encouragement my friend.

  • Monika & Sam
    August 7, 2015

    We’ve all done it, even with our 2 legged kids! 😉

    • Cathy Bennett
      August 7, 2015

      Tis true Monika, but with Leo gone, it feels weird sometimes.

  • Lauren Miller (ZoePhee)
    August 7, 2015

    They are both so cute! When I first got Phoenix I was guilty of that too! The longer you have them the less you do it. Nearly 3 years later I hardly ever compare them anymore. They are both completely different dogs. So don’t worry! There’s hope for your rehabilitation! 😛

    • Cathy Bennett
      August 7, 2015

      Thanks Lauren, I was beginning to think there was something wrong with me 🙂 Never having had dogs before – I have no clue about such strange behavior and habits I’ve developed. People like you keep me sane!

  • Jan K
    August 8, 2015

    Oh, you probably won’t stop. But I don’t think it’s a bad thing, I think it just shows that Leo lives on in your heart, and he always will.
    We often make comparisons between our Luke and our late beagle Kobi….and Luke doesn’t look anything like Kobi, that’s for sure!
    But he has some of Kobi’s habits (and a hound dog nose), and honestly, we enjoy that. It helps Kobi’s memories to live on for us, when Luke does things Kobi used to….like getting up at 5am (we were just making that comparison this morning), chasing grasshoppers and stopping to sniff every two feet when we walk. We actually encourage him to chase the grasshoppers because we want to be reminded of the fun Kobi used to have doing that. 🙂

  • slimdoggy
    August 8, 2015

    Who cares if you compare them – I compare our dogs all the time and love them for the similarities and the differences. Just think of Jax as channeling his inner Leo and love him for providing those sweet memories.

  • Kimberly Gauthier
    August 8, 2015

    It will stop. Scout and Zoey remind us of Blue all the time. Not because they look like him, but because they share his personality traits. At first it was weird and I felt a little guilty. They’re their own dogs. But today, we celebrate those similarities, because those are the traits that we love in this breed and it feels good to know that with each dog that comes into our lives, we’ll get to enjoy the traits that make us smile and laugh every day.

  • Denise Gruzensky
    August 8, 2015

    Pet parenting is such a funny thing. People & myself accidentally call Shasta Harley all of the time. Even at book signings for Harley’s Story and then I feel even worse because in Harley’s Story he doesn’t pass away. I decided to say to the kids, “Harley couldn’t be with us today” but would you like to meet Shasta.
    I agree with the posts above, it is a compliment to both to have the comparison and certainly doesn’t change our love for either. I also don’t think you have to feel guilty, I’ve been called the dogs name by my parents on many occasions! 🙂

  • Jenna,Mark “HuskyCrazed” Drady
    August 8, 2015

    Aw I think it’s a normal thing to do really, I wouldn’t worry too much.
    ღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!

  • Pamela
    August 8, 2015

    Poor Cathy. Get yourself out of the hoosegow. You have nothing to feel guilty about.

    You loved Leo and you will always look for a little piece of him in every doodle you meet.

    You’ll have years to know every little thing about Jax. And it will be fun to read along with your discoveries in ways he’s like Leo and completely different.

    • Cathy Bennett
      August 14, 2015

      That’s my girl Pamela – slap a sistah before she goes nuts! I love you girlfriend! I’m getting better – I’m even helping others who see/meet Jax for the first time and gasp and then feel bad. This takes practice and each occasion I’m getting better.

  • De Hufford
    August 8, 2015

    I think it is just part of having many animals in your life. They all have special parts and when you see something similar, you think of them.

    • Cathy Bennett
      August 14, 2015

      Tis true De, but I’m a novice. Harley & Leo are/were my first dogs. All this is a new walk for me!

  • Jackie Bouchard
    August 11, 2015

    We’ve never had two dogs that looked alike but we do often see behaviors in Rita and say she’s “channeling” one of her angel sisters. I don’t think it’s a bad thing to compare them. I think it’s only natural. And maybe as Jax continues to grow and come into his own more, maybe he’ll have such a distinct personality that you’ll compare them less and less.

    • Cathy Bennett
      August 14, 2015

      I certainly hope so, I see “snippets” of Leo from time to time. It’s other people that gasp and have a “moment” because at first glance that’s who you see – especially if you don’t see him often. I’m getting used to it – it really helps to share in a forum like this. People like you help make sense of it all. Thanks Jackie 🙂 Have a great weekend.

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