DIARY OF A MIDDLE AGED PUPPY MOM – CONTINUES…

By Monday, May 11, 2015 35 Permalink

PART 2 OF A NEVER ENDING SERIES

March 8th I met my 13 lb. bundle of love. Twenty two days later I penned the first chapter of what I like to call Diary of a Middle Aged Puppy Mom.” 

My disclaimer remains the same, I still adore my little love bug, but being on the tail end of my 50’s vs. the front makes a significant difference with a puppy in the house. I’m experiencing things I never thought much about – let alone remember.

And after I posted the first Diary of a Middle Aged Puppy Mom, I found out – I am not alone. #Ilovemyfriends

So, grab your coffee, tea or orange juice and enjoy our most recent comedy of errors…

I titled this one –

CHASING TAIL CAN GET YOU KILLED

and in this case – I’m talking ALL of us!

GRAY

Dear Diary,

Our house is conveniently located in the middle of the cul-de-sac so we don’t see much action in regards to traffic. 

Our corner however intersects with a road used as a “pass-through” for the neighborhood.  At times (more often than we’d like), this one road can resemble a drag strip for Nascar qualifications.

Never EVER do we flirt with danger and go anywhere near the corner w/o our leashes. #itstherule

Directly across that busy street lives this hot little number (a Pomeranian named “Coco”) who Harley has – on occasion – tried to “date” when we’re on one of our many walks.

Once the Spring weather settled in we’ve spotted her out alone, strutting her stuff during the late afternoon hours. #doingherthing

Twice when she was strolling the streets, I let her humans know she was “out and about” on her own. #theyweregrateful

On this particular afternoon, Coco decided to extend her solo adventure down our way.

This is what happened…

I was in the garage, wrestling with Jax and his collar. Harley waited patiently for his turn before we began our walk. I had poop bags in my hand, and because Jax only gives me a three second warning before he’ll either pee all over my floor and/or my foot, my Sketchers weren’t on properly.

I only slipped the front of my feet in with the intent of getting the heels inside where they belonged before we left. #importantfact #rememberthis

Something caught my attention. Something moved past my house. Unfortunately Harley saw it too. He stood up, and started to move. I called his name as I struggled with the collar clamp on a wiggling Jax.

Unlike his nature, Harley ignored me and continued down the driveway, picking up speed along the way. I’m still not sure “what” he or I saw, but it certainly peeked his interest because he was gaining serious distance from me.

 As soon as I cleared the car,  I saw her – Coco! What in the doodle was she doing down here? She took one glance at Harley and like a jack rabbit she flew up the street. 

There is absodoodletutely no reason for me to tell you what Harley did next. #youguessedit

Now remember at the time Coco strolled by, I was:

  • trying to clamp Jax’s collar
  • my shoes weren’t completely on
  • I had empty poop bags in my hand

My response was impulsive. I reacted with the first thought that popped into my mind. I hollered from the depths of my lungs for Harley and started running after him. #draggingJax

With one hand on Jax’s leash, and the other still clenching the poop bags – I managed (in full stride I might add) to: 

  • release the bags into the air like confetti
  • throw the free hand behind me, snatch the back of my sneaker shoe, and get it around my heel before the foot hit the ground. 

Performing this trick (still running) not once – but twice (for each shoe)! #Americasgottalent

But as the second foot was about to hit the ground, we had another malfunction. That collar clamp? Yep, it never really got fastened all the way. So now Shrek Jax was on the loose. #cantmakethisup

I dropped the dog-less leash, and now I’m hauling (you know what), as fast as I can.

At that precise moment I realized at my age you can’t yell and run at the same time. Impossible to do both. #stoplaughing

FACT: I’m not as athletic as I used to be!

When I think about top ranking female track and field athletes such as:

  • Jackie Joyner-Kersee
  • Allyson Felix
  • Marion Jones
  • Gail Devers, and many more

Cathy Bennett’s name isn’t on that list.

But I’ve got to keep running because I’ve got to save my Boys from that monster called an “intersection.”

I’m one and half houses from the corner. Coco’s already in the middle of the street, Harley’s less than three feet behind her, and Jax was gaining on him. 

I ran as fast as I could. My yell was down to a pathetic squeak. My heart felt twelve times its size, and it hurt with each beat. I was so exhausted I was slowing down. Couldn’t slow down, had to keep going. I flailed my arms much like a duck trying to lift itself out of the water. I thought it would give me extra speed. #lookingcrazy 

  • Coco made it across the street.
  • Harley made it across the street.
  • Jax made it across the street.

Praise God – I made it across the street!

As I sat on the curb, heaving like a heavyweight boxer in the ninth round, I wasn’t sure if I was going to throw up or pass out. 

And just like a typical mother, I hugged my boys close trying not to cry and suddenly felt the urge to pick Jax up and use him to beat Harley #justbeinghonest

I refrained from any acts of violence, waited until my heart returned to a non life threatening pace, got my composure and took my Boys home.

Harley knew he was in trouble so he immediately put himself to bed. Jax was clueless and since he never got to finish his walk, he peed on my floor. #notmyfoot

My shins were on fire for days afterwards. My knee still clicks  at times when I try to run up the stairs, and my shoulder throbs when I reach for something above my head. But my boys are safe 🙂 

Whatever happened to Coco?

I paid her humans a little visit the following day. I was neighborly, kind, but all about the business. I told them what had occurred the day before. I expressed concern that Coco is out too often, and now that she’s comfortable crossing a busy street her survival rate wasn’t looking too good if this continued. 

They were appreciative, and I haven’t seen her since. 

As for the residents of Doodleville – we’ve adjusted our routine slightly:

  • the sneaker shoes go on all the way BEFORE leaving the house
  • we leash up in the laundry room
  • got new collars without clamps 🙂

 While being a middle aged puppy mom is slightly “different” from what I remember, I wouldn’t trade it for the world, but I doubt seriously if I would/could do it again either 🙂 #tellingthetruth

Be kind to someone and as always, thank you for sharing us with your friends!

CONTINUE READING AND FIND OUT HOW A MIDDLE AGED PUPPY MOM DEALS WITH CRATES

 

I am joining the Monday Mischief blog hop brought to you by Alfie’s BlogSnoopy’s Dog BlogMy Brown Newfies. The Hop that wraps up the weekend.

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35 Comments
  • Emma
    May 11, 2015

    My mom has another rule. No dog goes out, even in the fenced yard unless Mom is fully dressed. It never fails, if she is in her jammies or undies getting dressed we find something to get into causing her to need to go out immediately. She say she is sometimes too old for all of us too. She was up all night as we had storms, Bailie got sick for the first time ever, and one cat was puking hairballs. Now it is time for her to go to work as it is a very busy day today and she is exhausted. The 50’s take a toll on our humans. Glad you survived and learned a few more lessons 😉

    • Cathy Bennett
      May 11, 2015

      I often think of you and your sisters Emma when I hear the reports about inclement weather in your area. I’m so sorry the storms get everybody all rattled. Our new system seems to be working well, no more mishaps (at least not lately!) Hope Bailey feels better and your Mom gets some well deserved rest later today!

    • DZ Dogs
      May 11, 2015

      Tooo funny!! This is my rule too. 🙂 Not too long ago silly Dz Dog Dad had to run into the backyard in his underwear, it was a pretty silly sight!!

      • Cathy Bennett
        May 11, 2015

        Not in his tidy whities LOL

  • Caren Gittleman
    May 11, 2015

    Ohhhh myyyyy you had me ROCKING AND ROLLING WITH LAUGHTER!! Not AT you, but WITH you!
    I am 59 years old my friend and boy oh boy can I ever relate!!!!
    This was one of the most hilarious posts I have ever read!
    In all seriousness, kudos to you for going and speaking with Coco’s parents. You probably saved that poor dog a horrific event happening.
    Anything from an accident, to theft to who-knows-what?
    THANK YOU for the Monday morning much-needed-hilarity!
    xoxo

    • Cathy Bennett
      May 11, 2015

      Hey Caren – We’ve got to stick together. It’s okay to laugh at me – I laugh at myself when it comes to Jax. It’s amazing how things change with just a few years in between. Happy to hear you smiled a bit this morning. That was certainly my goal. Have a great week!

  • DashLilly
    May 11, 2015

    oh hilarious Scary but hilarious. Well written. Well done!! I was chuckling away reading this. Why do we think that screeching their names is the right response. Dash has had a few break aways and I always screech “DAASSHHH” and the I watch him run away from me. And, I usually do not have on shoes then either. (Oh, and great point about the poop bags! one time I held onto a full poop bag like it was a bag of diamonds … next time… I dropped the poop!!!! )

    • Cathy Bennett
      May 11, 2015

      Deirdre – I’m so happy to know there are women out there in my club – and I am not alone 🙂 It’s comforting!

  • Talent Hounds
    May 11, 2015

    You had me in stitches this is so funny and relatable! Keep it up.

    • Cathy Bennett
      May 11, 2015

      Talent Hounds, all I do is let Jax do his thing 🙂 Then I try to share it with you! Have a great week my friends.

  • Taryn
    May 11, 2015

    You tell a great story! So very glad it had a happy ending. Similar things have happened with my dogs, but involving the way-too-many deer we have in our neighborhood. Let me tell, my dogs can SPRINT for well over a mile. I can not!

    • Cathy Bennett
      May 11, 2015

      WHoa – Did you say “deer?” Karyn? I’m born and raised in an urban setting so for me to have an up close and personal moment with a deer I would probably freeze in my tracks. So happy you enjoyed our story, have a great week.

  • Monika & Sam
    May 11, 2015

    Oh my gosh! I’m sorry, I admit, I’ve been laughing like a silly schoolgirl even though I know it was scary at the time and the outcome could have easily been different. Your furkids have managed to bring a special voice out in you-fingers and paws crossed there are many more stories this entertaining (but far less scary). Coco sounds like quite the little minx. Having whistled past your age a loooong time ago, I can empathize completely. Trust me, Jackie Joiner’s got nothing on you, girl. 🙂

    • Cathy Bennett
      May 11, 2015

      It’s quite alright to laugh, it’s great for the soul, and perfect on a Monday morning! I’m sure there will be a few more entries added in “Diary of a Middle Aged Puppy Mom” so stick around – I’ll do my best to bring tears to your eyes!

  • Claudette Pope
    May 11, 2015

    Cathy, you were definitely on point with everything in this post. When you #’d stoplaughing, that’s exactly what I was doing. Lol I’m sure all of us pet Moms could relate and me, knocking on the door of 70 , I more times than a few, wondered What The Heck Have I done by getting an 8 week old puppy. But, like you said, such joy having “The Zigster” around. I’m so glad that you were able to so to speak, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and gather your babies. But I’m sorry, that visual is going to stay with me for a loooong time lol, lol, lol.

    • Cathy Bennett
      May 11, 2015

      Claudette – For a fleeting moment I thought someone would have to call Pastor Lundy to console my family. Afterwards I was amazed I was still alive. If the car didn’t get me, surely the heart attack would have LOL It’s okay to laugh at me – I laugh at myself. How’s Ziggy doing by the way?

  • Earl Lover
    May 11, 2015

    I agree, you tell a brilliant story. Phew for happy endings!!!!!!!!

    sumskersandearlskers13.blogspot.com

    • Cathy Bennett
      May 11, 2015

      Thanks Earl – so happy you enjoyed it 🙂

  • Nichole
    May 11, 2015

    We are BOL over here….. thanks for stopping by today and your sweet note you left on our post about Penny. <3 We've added you to our reader and look forward to getting to know you more!

  • Elaine
    May 11, 2015

    Oh my gosh, what a crazy ordeal! I’m at the other end of the 50’s and at our age, puppies will either kill us or keep us young, haha!

    • Cathy Bennett
      May 11, 2015

      Well Elaine, since I’m breathing on my own today, I guess I’m gonna stay young! LOL

  • Barbara Rivers
    May 11, 2015

    Thank you for the laughs 😉 Very nice job running after your boys & bringing them back home ~ you got your workout for the week right there! Missy would have chased after little runaway Coco too, and probably not have come back either. She’s escaped a few times when she was younger & when we lived at an apartment complex. She always came back, but those moments seemed like hours & I sure did my fair share of running ~ in my 30s though.

    • Cathy Bennett
      May 11, 2015

      You’re welcome Barbara – my pleasure 🙂 I’ve almost depleted my bag of Epsom Salt – HA! It has truly been a life saver…. I guess as pet parents – we do what we gotta do! Thanks for stopping by!

  • Tenacious Little Terrier
    May 11, 2015

    This was hilarious! I’m sure it wasn’t at the time but glad everyone is OK! I had a similar moment of mad panic and dashing after Mr. N when he decided to chase after a herd of horses.

    • Cathy Bennett
      May 11, 2015

      Nope – wasn’t funny at the time, but I too cracked up once I got my heart rate under control. You’ve got to laugh at yourself – it keeps you young, and I believe you live longer. If those two theories are correct, then I will be one sexy looking woman at 105 yrs of age! LOL

  • DZ Dogs
    May 11, 2015

    I love your Diary posts!! You had my laughing so hard!
    I think at some point we’ve all done silly little dances. You’re shoes not on, leash not clipped, on dog escapee is a story that has happened to me before.
    One time about two years ago now, we hadn’t had Dante for very long so his recall was terrible, he took off on me to chase a cat! I was wearing flip flops and made a mad dash through the field after him, hollering, all the way…lost the flip flops (found them later), stepped in poop, and had to refrain from killing my new dog. 🙂 LoL
    We also have a neighbor whose tiny shitzu gets out regularly, I don’t get it. They just open the front door and let her wander, she’s followed us on a few occasions. My concern is less about cars in our area, and more to do with her running up on me with the pups. Ziva does not like being chased down by another dog. You’ve inspired me to talk to them the next time she’s out to politely but firmly ask them to keep her in for safety reasons.
    Great post!!! 🙂

  • Kim M
    May 12, 2015

    OH MY! Beat one with the other! LOL That made me laugh, because I know it was just honestly. Then I looked at my 145lb dog and my 10lber. Thankfully they have never done this and I am so glad everyone made it across the street safe. Even if it hurt, everyone is alive! Stay home Coco!

    • Cathy Bennett
      May 12, 2015

      Thanks Kim – Now I’m lnvisioning you beating your 145lber withy our 10lber and I’m laughing at you! Your big dog would think “what is she doing? LOL Thanks for stopping by!

  • Rama's Mama
    May 12, 2015

    Oh my goodness, what a harrowing experience! LOL! I’m sorry to laugh but I could totally visualize this! Coco is very lucky you were looking out for her!

    • Cathy Bennett
      May 12, 2015

      I agree Rama’s Mama! I haven’t seen Coco since I might add. I think they got the message and the new collar on Jax is working just great! 🙂

  • Jackie Bouchard
    May 12, 2015

    That’s a very funny retellling of a very scary story! Our beagle almost ran out into a very busy street once, and I about had a heart attack! (From fear! I was much younger then and in much better shape!) Puppies can be so exhausting! It’s a good thing they make then so darn cute!

    • Cathy Bennett
      May 13, 2015

      It was frightening alright Jackie – I don’t know what I would have done had it gone the other way. Don’t even want to think about that. I’m happy to report – I haven’t seen Coco at all since the incident, so PAWhaps this is definitely behind us and won’t happen again. #pawscrossed

  • Tiffany
    May 13, 2015

    As I keep replaying the visual of your Olympic sprint…..I just can’t stop laughing 🙂

  • Jan K
    May 13, 2015

    All’s well that ends well?
    I think I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve had to learn to do things differently because the current system caused a near disaster! I’ll never forget the time when I was so naive I didn’t know that all four dogs (one adult and three young ones at the time) would bail out of the car and run when I got to my sister’s house. All came back at my yelling….except for the adult one (our beagle Kobi)! I had to chase him down at a farm, climbing over a barbed wire fence and tearing my shorts at the time.
    The good news here is there is very little traffic on that street my sister used to live on, and this was 10 years ago,…so I was much younger and in better shape. I sure as heck wouldn’t want to do that now! And no, there will never be 3 puppies at the same time….I’m pretty sure I was insane. LOL

    • Cathy Bennett
      May 13, 2015

      Aren’t those moments the scariest? I imagine I will never ever forget my special moment. I can’t imagine traveling with four dogs – you’re my SHERO Jan K.

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