I’ve taken myself to court. Call me the prosecutor, judge AND jury.
Lately my behavior as a pet parent has been unacceptable. #inmyopinion My subconcious has taken over and is out of control. I am guilty of dog comparison behavior:
- Am I weird?
- Am I wrong?
- Am I a bad Doodle Mom?
MORE IMPORTANTLY –
- Will it ever stop?
Jaxson is now 7 months old #wheredidthetimego?
And I can’t stop seeing a little piece of Leo (here and there) in many of the things he does…
Friends, family and Doodle fans are not helping with my rehabilitation either.
As Jax gets older, people fumble through that initial greeting:
They either:
- Whisper
- Frown
- Cuff their hands over their mouths,
as they struggle with the words:
I’m sorry, but I gotta tell you – he looks so much like Leo.
I smile, nod my head and reassure them there’s no need to apologize. While deep down in my doodle, I want to shout back at them –
I KNOW!
But I feel so freakin bad having those same thoughts…
Even though Jaxson and Leo come from the same breeder, their family tree does not share any limbs. I didn’t want that. #Imadesure
I know what your thinking “it’s the same breed – there’s bound to be similarities.” And while that is conceivable, it doesn’t stop me from observing and comparing then feeling awful for doing it.
The other day Jax went on a walk carrying a ball in his mouth. A lady pulling out of her driveway, stopped and got out of her car to make the comparison. Then she apologized…
I want Jaxson to be his own “doodle” not live in the hearts and minds as an L.J. #littleLeo
Perhaps I’m feeling this way because Jax is now the same age Leo was when he came into our lives. This would certainly explain my many deja vu moments…
And yes, in case you’re wondering, I do mistakenly yell out “Harley & Leo” sometimes when I know good and Doodle well I wanted to say “Harley & Jax.” But can’t you see my dilemma?…
SO HELP A SISTAH OUT –
Tell me:
- Do you think it will stop?
- Do you think I will be able to look at him as he plays, cuddles and or sleeps and see him for who he is? #behisowndoodle
JUST JAXSON –
I’m hoping this is only a phase since he’s getting older, and at some point and time I can submit my appeal and get my sentence over turned.
But for right now, I’m afraid I am guilty as charged. #sendcommissarymoneyplease
Have a wonderful weekend and be kind to someone too!
August 7, 2015
I don’t think you need to worry about it. It is a compliment for Jax for one. Mom often says Trine lives on in Katie as Katie learned a lot from Trine in the 14 months they spent together before Trine passed. Our kitty Boo who died suddenly lives on in my cat bro Bert. She was a cat who stole food and the hearts of dogs and humans just as Bert does. We don’t know for sure if those who passed do live in some living beings or not, but is sure does seem to be the case, so you are not alone in those thoughts.
August 7, 2015
Thanks Emma. Tell your mom I said I appreciate her words of encouragement. Perhaps as Jax grows up I will think less and less of the similarities and laugh at the goofiness! Have a great weekend.
August 7, 2015
I have been thinking since Jax got a haircut!!! Yep, there is a resemblance. I think it is Leo whispering in your ear “It’s all good, Mom, I’m still here and I am loving my little brother.” It will stop and Jax will establish his one and only individual place. And it’s all wonderful.
August 7, 2015
You are not alone Deirdre. In fact you are in great company! I think as Jax grows older it will dissipate – I sure hope so. Thanks for your words of encouragement my friend.
August 7, 2015
We’ve all done it, even with our 2 legged kids! 😉
August 7, 2015
Tis true Monika, but with Leo gone, it feels weird sometimes.
August 7, 2015
They are both so cute! When I first got Phoenix I was guilty of that too! The longer you have them the less you do it. Nearly 3 years later I hardly ever compare them anymore. They are both completely different dogs. So don’t worry! There’s hope for your rehabilitation! 😛
August 7, 2015
Thanks Lauren, I was beginning to think there was something wrong with me 🙂 Never having had dogs before – I have no clue about such strange behavior and habits I’ve developed. People like you keep me sane!
August 8, 2015
Oh, you probably won’t stop. But I don’t think it’s a bad thing, I think it just shows that Leo lives on in your heart, and he always will.
We often make comparisons between our Luke and our late beagle Kobi….and Luke doesn’t look anything like Kobi, that’s for sure!
But he has some of Kobi’s habits (and a hound dog nose), and honestly, we enjoy that. It helps Kobi’s memories to live on for us, when Luke does things Kobi used to….like getting up at 5am (we were just making that comparison this morning), chasing grasshoppers and stopping to sniff every two feet when we walk. We actually encourage him to chase the grasshoppers because we want to be reminded of the fun Kobi used to have doing that. 🙂
August 8, 2015
Who cares if you compare them – I compare our dogs all the time and love them for the similarities and the differences. Just think of Jax as channeling his inner Leo and love him for providing those sweet memories.
August 8, 2015
It will stop. Scout and Zoey remind us of Blue all the time. Not because they look like him, but because they share his personality traits. At first it was weird and I felt a little guilty. They’re their own dogs. But today, we celebrate those similarities, because those are the traits that we love in this breed and it feels good to know that with each dog that comes into our lives, we’ll get to enjoy the traits that make us smile and laugh every day.
August 8, 2015
Pet parenting is such a funny thing. People & myself accidentally call Shasta Harley all of the time. Even at book signings for Harley’s Story and then I feel even worse because in Harley’s Story he doesn’t pass away. I decided to say to the kids, “Harley couldn’t be with us today” but would you like to meet Shasta.
I agree with the posts above, it is a compliment to both to have the comparison and certainly doesn’t change our love for either. I also don’t think you have to feel guilty, I’ve been called the dogs name by my parents on many occasions! 🙂
August 8, 2015
Aw I think it’s a normal thing to do really, I wouldn’t worry too much.
ღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!
August 8, 2015
Poor Cathy. Get yourself out of the hoosegow. You have nothing to feel guilty about.
You loved Leo and you will always look for a little piece of him in every doodle you meet.
You’ll have years to know every little thing about Jax. And it will be fun to read along with your discoveries in ways he’s like Leo and completely different.
August 14, 2015
That’s my girl Pamela – slap a sistah before she goes nuts! I love you girlfriend! I’m getting better – I’m even helping others who see/meet Jax for the first time and gasp and then feel bad. This takes practice and each occasion I’m getting better.
August 8, 2015
I think it is just part of having many animals in your life. They all have special parts and when you see something similar, you think of them.
August 14, 2015
Tis true De, but I’m a novice. Harley & Leo are/were my first dogs. All this is a new walk for me!
August 11, 2015
We’ve never had two dogs that looked alike but we do often see behaviors in Rita and say she’s “channeling” one of her angel sisters. I don’t think it’s a bad thing to compare them. I think it’s only natural. And maybe as Jax continues to grow and come into his own more, maybe he’ll have such a distinct personality that you’ll compare them less and less.
August 14, 2015
I certainly hope so, I see “snippets” of Leo from time to time. It’s other people that gasp and have a “moment” because at first glance that’s who you see – especially if you don’t see him often. I’m getting used to it – it really helps to share in a forum like this. People like you help make sense of it all. Thanks Jackie 🙂 Have a great weekend.